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Sadomasochism
Pt. 1
By Jonatas Dornelles
Anthropologist
Sadomasochism is
paused as a dark and forbidden aspect of our sexuality.
In fact, most people ignore what sadomasochism really
is. The information we usually find on the web or general
media is mostly full of pornography and misconceptions,
all of which give S&M a false and distorted image.
Here you will discover a little bit more about this
intriguing and fascinating aspect of the human sexuality.
What does it
mean? - S&M stands for Sadism + Masochism that
refers to the writers Marquis De Sade (France, XIII
Century) and Sacher-Masoch (Poland, XIX Century). The
works of Marquis De Sade usually portrayed all forms
of sexuality considered unacceptable at that time in
that describing characters whom virtually abused non-consenting
victims by inflicting pain and humiliation. The Baron
Sacher-Masoch wrote a book called Venus In Furs, which
although not as violent as Sade's writings, portrayed
the classical figure of the dominant mistress and her
servant or slave.
What is?
- Based on these two concepts, S&M is so described
as the deriving of pleasure, basically sexual excitement
and gratification from inflicting or submitting pain,
humiliation or emotional abuse, either on other or on
oneself.
Who practices
it? - People from all walks of life, ethnic, cultures
and sexual orientations. Being bound to be part of underground
culture, S&M is actually a healthy practice, if
not involving any serious threat to both partners. Today,
S&M practices follow basic rules or settings of
a kind that establish limits for a Sadomasochist relationship:
- S&M relationships
are based on pain, but any of the involved partners
should be hurt in any way they don't wish to. It may
be hard to define how far pain and humiliation can go,
but the activities should not cause any permanent or
serious harm to participants such as scars, broken bones,
or other grievous bodily harm.
- This relationship should be also emotionally and psychologically
healthy. Humiliation and distress during S&M playing
can't interpose in the partner's daily life and thus
cause serious emotional trauma.
- As everything related to sex, every S&M practice
needs to be consensual. Both partners must agree on
all aspects of the mischief. Depending on the country
where it takes place, a person may accuse his/her partner
of sexual abuse if forced to engage in S&M practices
against will. To avoid such situation, some couples
even have their own "safe words", that is
a sentence password, indicating that the game has gone
too far and the partner must stop. This set of safe
words may also be incorporated into the game as a whole,
hence safely and sexy at the same time.
Once following these
simple rules partners are free to do whatever they want
during intercourse as any S&M playing.
Some people employ
Sadomasochism to spice up their worn out relationship
by simply having sexually gratifying prime time with
some adult-fun. In addition, we have people engaged
in S&M practices on a daily basis. For some people
sex-games without involving S&M practices may be
boring or due dated, and those are people who usually
engaged in the most "extreme" practices.
S&M
practices for instance may include:
Bondage -
basically, one partner tied up and the other free to
stage such a stimulating performance onto his/hers slave.
So much for sex-toys.
Dominance &
Submission - one of the most psychologically orientated
practices as it consists of one of the partners giving
orders to other. The level on this relationship may
vary from a simple sexual command to severe forms of
humiliation.
Using Toys
- a toy may be any device (used purposely for sex or
else) that enhances the S&M ultimate experience.
Toys may include dressing up, whips and paddles for
flogging, big black mambas and gags, some vegetables
or practically anything that springs into mind as convenient.
The only limit being the partners' creativity and your
own safety.
It's important to
acknowledge that no one is entitled to tell you what's
right and what's wrong. In respecting yours and your
partner's well being, everything becomes possible. But
remember that everything is supposedly meant to derive
fun. Face S&M as a daring game to enjoy your so-called
forbidden sexuality.
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