What is queer sexuality? Who gets to define it anyway? Why does it even need to be defined? These are questions that people of like mind have been asking for years now. What is queer sexuality is a question that has been asked of queers themselves and has been answering in different ways by different people all over the world.
Most commonly the definition of “queer” is in the “naked” sense of the word. Being and acting like a woman, gay or trans. This then leads to “queer”, which can also be used as a prefix to describe something that is not heterosexual. It can also be used in place of the word homosexual in an adjective if the person is one who likes to cross-dress. So then, what is the difference between a straight and a gay? How can you tell the difference between the two?
Straight and gay are terms that are used to refer to sexual practices, but they are not the same thing. The word “straight” can mean: having a sex life that involves only members of the opposite sex. Gay on the other hand means: engaging in sexual acts with members of the same sex. The difference between these two words is just the way they are used. But there is more to the question of what is queerer than this.
Queer as it is used today is a term that is rooted in the idea of human beings as having two distinct and separate identities. To some people it means something different than what it did to previous generations. What was considered “queer” back then was not necessarily gay or even lesbian. Back then being a “queer” meant that you were trying to explore your gender identity, something that was considered quite a taboo. Today, the idea of gender being fluid and changing is more common.
What does being a “queer” means today is an individual who embraces their sexuality in all its forms, whether it is extreme or tame. The notion of gender not being fixed has also become more accepted in recent years. Gender roles have become more flexible and some have even taken advantage of this by taking advantage of same sex sexual relationships. So what is queer if gender isn’t always the defining factor?
Gender is still a big part of the definition of sexuality for many people, but what is queer to you may not be what is right for someone else. It’s a broad concept that can be hard to pinpoint exactly what it is to each person. Some feel that gender is the biggest difference between gay and straight, while others believe that the difference is based on self-identification.
When you begin to think about what is queer, you will probably come across differences like the following: gender roles, cross-gendering, fluidity of gender, and even intersex attraction. Gender is one of the biggest differences between gay and straight. People often think of gender when they think of what is gay. But gender is only one difference, as there are also cross-genders and fluidities between male and female genders.
Cross-genders include people like transgender, transvestites, and cross-dressers. Fluidities exist among male and female genders, but they are still considered “male” or “female”. The only major difference between these two differences is that the transgender and cross dressers choose to live as a member of the other gender. So what is queer to you may not be what isqueer to someone else.
Another difference is in self-identity. You might be bisexual (someone who is attracted to all kinds of people regardless of their gender) or a cisgender (someone who is attracted to people of the same gender). If you fall outside of the definitions of “both” you are part of the third category of what is queerer. And if you fall under the second category of gender, cisgendered, you are likely a queerer because of your sexual interests and behaviors.
But the question “What is queer?” can become more complex and probably more important if you begin to understand that your sexuality is not static. It changes with your feelings, desires, and understanding of gender. The last thing you want to do is get caught up in a tug-of-war with two equally valid concepts when all you really want is to live your life free from labels, and judgments.
Understanding the difference between what is queery and genitals can help you tremendously in making decisions about who and what you are attracted to. When you can look at your queerness with eyes that see the whole picture instead of the two components the labels seem unnecessary. When you are able to see beyond the difference between sex and gender, you will be able to live your life free from judgment and fear.